The Fighter in Me

The other morning I didn’t want to get out of bed and it wasn’t because I was tired. I was wide awake. I didn’t want to face the day. I could see the dark cloud looming for the last couple of weeks. I have the felt the cold wind across my heart and the tiredness take rest on my soul. It’s not life altering events that weigh me down, but daily pinpricks the enemy likes to use to wear us down. They come obnoxiously day after day.

Pinpricks come in all forms from family relations, to financial concerns, to coworkers and fellow church members, to people wanting to keep your past in the present. It can be constant complaining and never doing, thoughts about ourselves and fears of what other people think. Jealousy and bitterness like to prick the soul.  My own sin and lack of discipline can pinprick me and the enemy sits back for the show. My soul can become downcast with the cares of this life, the hurt caused by others, and the detours of the journey. 

As I was lying there I was reminded of a verse that caught my attention almost a year ago. In Matthew 11:12 it says, from the days of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. The gospel has always been a forceful presence with people pressing in from the time John the Baptist began sharing the coming Kingdom of Jesus and Jesus fulfilling that ministry. People pressed in to hear the good news and hope of the gospel. The word spread and people flocked to him. They pressed into him, sought after him and some violently opposed him.

I lived with a paralyzing fear for much of my young adult life. It was conquered through his word and set free by his grace. I also battled debilitating depression created by immense stress that found me wishing for an end. It was conquered by hope and set free by faith.  The enemy tried to use a man in a mask to bring back that fear and he has used daily pinpricks to hover me with depression. I had to press in and I had to lay hold of his promise for me.

The Bible says he makes our crooked ways straight and the mountains will be made low. It doesn’t promise the journey will never curve or mountains will never have to be climbed. He promises in Romans 8:28 that he will use all things for good to those that love the Lord. All things include my sins, my fears, my failure, my heartaches not just the good that I do or the bad that I refrain from. In James he tells us tou count it all joy when we fall into trials. Knowing the testing of your faith brings patience.

The enemy wants to pinprick us to stop advancing the hope of the good news we share, and what he has taught me this year is I have to come up swinging. I have to be forceful and purposeful. I can be paralyzed and depressed or I can come up swinging. Proverbs says that a righteous man falls 7 times and gets up again.

I have a fighter in me. I am not fighting people or systems. I am fighting mental and emotional road blocks, schemes of the enemy and my own human nature. I know I am more than a conqueror because of the power of the God I serve. I am not afraid of arrows (masked men or the fiery darts of man's words) that fall by night. I am covered and protected under his wing. I have to stay forceful and purposeful in forgiveness, mercy, and grace because 2 Corinthians 2:11 says, so that satan will not outsmart us, for we are familiar with his evil schemes. Whenever his schemes arise I remember that God has a much bigger plan for me. I am not defeated and he reminds me when I least expect it.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20

I shared my need to come up swinging with some friends of mine in a Facebook group. I received messages from some of them telling me of their own need to fight in various areas of life. They shared how the enemy had used his pinpricks and schemes to weigh them down. They are coming up swinging too.  We fight negative thoughts, bad reports, rock throwers, and fear with God’s word not our own. Sometimes my tongue hurts from biting it and many times I find myself at the mercy of forgiveness because, if not tamed, my tongue is runs wild and does its damage.

I pray you have the hope in him that draws you to your feet when the enemy knocks you to your knees. I pray you have the fight in you that advances that hope into the lives of others. We are not defeated though we become weary in the battle. He sends his helper, he sends his people, he sends his word, but most of all he wants to send you to advance the hope we have in him. Some days quitting seems easy, but Hope will always whisper, “do it one more time”.

 

My shirt says "you've got what it takes but its going to take everything you've got." We have it inside of us. He that is in us is greater than He that is in the world. 1 John 4:4