Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
The thing I don’t want to do I keep doing. These are part of verses in the
Bible. Some of the permissible things have gotten me into trouble doing the
thing I don’t want to do anymore. It’s a vicious cycle spinning out of control.
I slammed on the brakes. I decided to walk the line. I decided obedience would
pull me together. I just needed to follow the rules. I can do this. I had been
hearing sermons on submission, maybe I needed more of that in my life. Yet, it
didn’t feel right.
I hear a sermon.
Grace. I read a devotion. Grace. I hear a song. Grace. I see a post on
Facebook. Grace. Ok, I get it but I am not asking for a get out of jail free
card.
Yesterday I put my head down on the table and just prayed.
“Lord, please show me what Grace is. I want to be obedient
too. I need direction.”
At that moment I remember Peter jumped off the boat and swam
to Jesus. The shame of the denial washed away as he dove in and swam to the
shore. A story God had used several years ago to pick me up and dust me off.
Don’t know the story?
I’ll tell you. Peter was called by Jesus as a fisherman to be his disciple.
Peter walked with Jesus, ate with Jesus, watched his many miracles, yet he
denied he ever knew Jesus that Good Friday when he was beaten and hung on the
cross. Jesus had already told him he would.
He said, “by the time the rooster crows you will deny me
three times.” Peter did just that. As soon as that rooster crowed Peter knew
what he had done. I can understand the
shame he felt.
Sometimes my life looks like one big denial. I feel like a
phony. I love Jesus and do the stupidest things. The enemy says, “See, you
aren’t called. You messed up.”
Peter went back to fishing. I wonder how many times he
thought he blew it. Did he scold himself at night when put his head on his
pillow or cry himself to sleep? Did he feel worthless in Kingdom of God? Do you
feel disqualified for the team?
Peter tells the other disciples he’s going fishing. I wonder if the decided he was just going to be a fisherman now. They
want to go with him. After they have been fishing all night and catch nothing,
someone calls out from the shore to cast the net on the other side. Immediately the net is full.
“Then the disciple whom Jesus loved
said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’ As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, ‘It is
the Lord,’ he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off)
and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the
net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.” -
John 21:7-8
Did you dive for your one chance to
be alone with him and tell him you are sorry? Peter, could you see through the
tears as you swam to the shore?
Then when they had finished breakfast,
Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these
do?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus told him, “Feed my
lambs.” 16 Jesus said a second time, “Simon, son of John, do
you love me?” He replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” Jesus told him,
“Shepherd my sheep.” 17 Jesus said a third time, “Simon, son of
John, do you love me?” Peter was distressed that Jesus asked him a third time,
“Do you love me?” and said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love
you.” Jesus replied, “Feed my sheep.
Here’s the cool part. Jesus, not too long before that, told
Peter, “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on
this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it”.
Do you know who feeds sheep in
the church? The Pastor.
Jesus never quit seeing Peter, in the midst of his failure,
as he had already called him.
Christi, there’s my Grace for you. I wept. The tether around
me loosened. He chose me, he picked me, he loved me, he found me, and he called
me. He took all of my sin and he declared me justified. He gave me his desires.
It doesn’t mean I don’t have my own desires I struggle with but his kindness
leads me to repentance.
I want to obey because I love him. I follow him because I
love him. I listen (submit) because I trust him. I get to go to work with my Father
because he loves me. I may wander and stray
but his grace keeps me. My ministry isn’t
a pulpit; it’s his grace that allows me to share my story that points to him.
His grace empowers me to do more than I could ask or think. I don’t have to
worry about tomorrow because he shows up. He’s faithful. He’s going to finish
what he started in me.
For I am sure of this very thing, that the
one who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6-7
I raise my white flag. I surrender to your
grace.
This song gets me every time.
