An Invitation to See

When I prayed about my goals for the New Year I kept hearing the words “Do Hard Things”. I know many of you that know me are thinking this has to do with the physical because, yes, I am training for a marathon, but that’s not really the hard thing. It is hard but not the hard things I felt the Lord was pressing on my heart. I am not a runner. Sometimes I join people to run a 5k. I hated the mile run as a kid and usually tried to fake an illness or side pain to justify my extremely slow self. I never win. I am not fast. I like the free shirts and I push myself harder with other people. I am doing things now I did not thing were possible.

A marathon is on my bucket list. It’s hard, it hurts and sometimes I get downright grouchy right before a long run. I know my hips, knees and feet are going to hurt. I know that bending over to tie my shoe will make me wince. I also know that I will be stiff for a day. I don’t love it until I am done. I feel on top of the world and then have to apologize to Barney and the girls for the mumbling and cussing I was doing under my breath towards any movement or sound that didn’t please me as I was getting ready to go.

There you have it, the real hard things God has pressed on my heart to work on. My Attitude. I would much rather it be about my burden for those being trafficked, the amount of kids that go hungry in the world or the burden I feel for those that live a life in a blanket of oppression. I would love to be a part of an army that goes into those ‘jungles’ and releases the captives, but God has been working on the paper cuts and grime that seem to build up and keep me distracted. It may seem like a silly list to some but it’s mine.

Here’s my list:

1. Cussing and all the other sins I commit in anger. Cussing when angry, cussing when telling a funny story, cussing when things don’t go my way, can’t find my shoes or I drop an object on my foot. I once heard someone say they know if a person is real a Christian if they don’t cuss. I kow that’s not true we all have areas we struggle. It still stung. Cussing is like my diet coke habit. I don’t like it. I don’t why I do it. I quit for months at a time and next thing I know I slip and I am drinking a 12 pack and cussing like a sailor.

2. Gossip or talking about someone is like nailing a hole in the board. Once I say it and try to pull the nail out the hole is still there. I can cover it with a pretty picture but it’s still there. God called me to build people up and pray for my enemies. The Bible says kindness to our enemies is like heaping burning coals on his head and the Lord will reward me. (Psalms 25:22) Doesn’t that sound better? J

3. Spend more time with the kids. Quality time. I will have to shut my phone off for that. It’s too easy to get engrossed in messages and answering questions. I want to. I want to help people and with my business but not at the sake of relationship. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills will have reruns. The message will still be there in the morning. The girls need me to teach them. I only have so long to do that and then they are gone.

4. Be patient with Barney and the girls. I go into Barracuda mode when cleaning, when I can’t find something I really need, when I am running late, when I asked for something to get done and it’s still not. Once a month I am certifiably crazy. Sadly my list could go on.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. ~Proverbs 18:21

Obviously I have been eating and feeding rotten fruit and giving a foothold to the devil. I think I called it venting. :)

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. ~ James 1:19-20

AAAAAAAAAAH! I was pretty overwhelmed after I made my list. I put makeup on when I leave the house to cover up blemishes and look “presentable”.I put my best foot forward foot forward for others and can find myself kicking the ones closest to me.

Somehow I hadn’t grasped what he was saying and I was determined to just stop these behaviors. I had strep throat on January 1 and did pretty well. I had failed by January 2^nd. Great.

And then the sermons began. Love God. Love People. Serve the King. Tell the World. I heard it loud and clear.

Then I got invited to a Living Well Ministry event about a Surrendered Heart. I realized God wasn’t asking me to do these hard things, we were on the road together and he was teaching as we journeyed. Our first session was on Surrender My Tongue. Really, the first session, Lord?’ He didn’t even give me a chance to warm up. We dove right in.

Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips ~ Psalm 141:3

When I Love the Lord with all my heart, my soul, and strength I have nothing left and he carries my burden. God knows the amount of prayers I prayed apologizing for the things that come out of my mouth. He also knows it hurts my relationship with him. I, at times, don’t feel worthy to pray or worship. I wonder how he can accept such a dirty offering. He wasn’t making a list of don’ts for me. He was helping me pull all hindrances and weeds out of the way. I want my heart to be fully committed. I want my “life to be an invitation to see”. Mainly to four little girls that watch my every move. The good news is God forgives us and then he empowers us to stop. It’s not condemnation it’s leading us to live a life of fullness.

The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. ~ 2 Chronicles 16:9

What I have learned this month in my journey to Do Hard Things is the pursuit of more, the pursuit of better, the pursuit of full life lie in the simple truth that I cannot do anything on my own. I might have also learned at the Living Well Ministry event that there are 137 verses about our tongue in the Bible. It might have been a gentle nudge also. J

Sometimes I get so focused on wondering what God wants my 'ministry' to be that I forget he placed one in my home. I can be more of a horrible warning than a good example.

I can be pretty hard on "my man". My love doesn't always show in the form of respect. We are the tortoise and the hare. I should take note. I poke fun of his slow maticulous movement, but he has never flushed his keys in the toilet at work, locked keys in his car, or forgot his wallet at a restaraunt. He has patience and understanding in situations. I get flustered and throw items not cooperating on the ground or bang them on the counter. He is gentle to come over and kindly put it together and make it work. (I do wonder what facial expression he has when he walks away)

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it ~ Proverbs 16:9

I don’t know what you struggle with. I do know I struggle with many things. This is a taste of the Do Hard Things this year. I am sure the Lord will lead me to more lessons he is teaching. When I started this blog I wanted it to be about living life on purpose. I have only found my purpose in Jesus. I have ventured in many things and I find none that satisfy or fill my voids like him and his word. I need him steering the ship. Being shipwrecked hurts. Sometimes I try to take the wheel or I jump off and nearly drown. He always throws me a lifeboat and gently steers me back on course. I believe in his Grace and he is not a God of condemnation. He is teaching us to edify and build his kingdom and to do what is helpful. He is creating our lives to “be an invitation to see”. That’s our mission. That’s my purpose.

I heard "be an invitation to see" at the Living Well Ministry conference. It's my prayer.

Everything is permissible," but not everything is helpful. "Everything is permissible," but not everything builds up. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:23

Check out Living Well Ministry and their new book "God's Heart For Your Home". It's also set up to do a Bible Study with your spouse, alone, or get a group of ladies together for a few weeks to learn and pray for each other. We can even set up an online private group to encourage and pray for one another.
www.livingwellministry.com